


Like You, Only Better

by ProsperDemeter



Series: Quarantine Fics [2]
Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Depression, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Other, Team as Family, Texting, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23830012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProsperDemeter/pseuds/ProsperDemeter
Summary: Pete: WHY am I hereHarls: i don't even know who you people areKate: Thomas you're a messTeddy: Why am I in a chat with SPIDER-MAN nowTommy: can your little fanboy heart handle itTommy: can my brothers little fanboy heart handle it--Or the one where the Young Avengers have a group chat and Peter and Harley adopt them all as their children.
Relationships: Billy Kaplan & Tommy Shepherd, Cassie Lang/Nate Richards, Harley Keener/Peter Parker, Kate Bishop & Cassie Lang, Kate Bishop & Tommy Shepherd, Kate Bishop/America Chavez, Kate Bishop/Eli Bradley, Peter Parker & Young Avengers (Team), Teddy Altman & Cassie Lang, Teddy Altman/Billy Kaplan
Series: Quarantine Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717060
Comments: 57
Kudos: 203





	1. Walkout Songs

**Author's Note:**

> This does directly tie into my Text Me Quarantine fic but I'm 90% sure you don't have to read that in order to understand this. At this point I don't have much of a plot and may or may not update depending on the response. 
> 
> WARNING: I play fast and loose with canon in all of my stories. Don't read it if you like things that are exactly to the book on everything that has happened in the past.

**_Like You, Only Better_ **

**Billy:** Kate's walkout music would be "Like a Girl" by Lizzo

 **Tommy** : Cassie's walkout song is that's my girl by fifth harmony 

**Tommy** : mine i'm not famous by ajr 

**Kate** : Aren't you two supposed to be doing school work?

 **Tommy** : disgusting kate

 **Tommy** : it is FRIDAY 

**Tommy** : let me L i v e

 **Kate** : We have plans this weekend, Tom. 

**Kate** : Do your homework. 

**Tommy** : does nate's training really count as plans

 **Cassie:** Hi guys! 

**Billy** : Hi Cassie! 

**Kate** : I don't want to have to punch Nate OR Eli if you guys can't show 

**Kate** : Since, combined, you're both human disasters

 **Billy** : I don't see what I did here

 **Tommy** : you started all of this william

 **Tommy** : hi cassie

 **Billy:** I mean

 **Kate** : Home. Work. Children. 

**Cassie:** I finished mine already. 🙂

 **Kate** : You see

 **Kate:** Cassie is a GOOD child

 **Billy** : I am literally doing my work, why am I getting so much hate?

 **Tommy** : no youre not 

**Tommy** : youre just staring at ted 

**Billy** : Tommy wtf

 **Billy** : Teddy's not even here 

**Teddy:** What about me? 

**Cassie** : Hi Teddy! 

**Teddy** : Hi Cassie! How did your day go? 

**Cassie** : Pretty good, actually! 

**Cassie** : Hope picked me up from school so we went for a quick run before she dropped me off at dad's office. 

**Kate** : Hope could crush me and I would still love her

 **Tommy** : but youre still not gay

 **Kate** : Thomas I swear to god

 **Teddy** : Sexuality has nothing to do with being attracted to Hope Van Dyne

 **Kate** : ^^ 

**Billy** : Kate 

**Kate** : What

 **Billy** : Can I ft you 

**Kate** : Why

 **Billy** : I need help 

**Tommy** : genuinely 

**Tommy** : with his life

 **Billy** : With my math homework 

**Tommy** : thats code for his life

 **Teddy** : Dude, Tom, chill

 **Kate** : Yeah, Billy just give me a few 

**Billy** : Thank 

**Tommy** : teddys walkout music would be bang! by ajr

 **Teddy** : Why are you doing this? 

**Tommy** : im bored 

**Teddy** : Sounds legit. Carry on. 

**Tommy** : eli and nate have a combined walkout song

 **Tommy** : its that fuck you song that billy made me listen to

 **Tommy** : what was it called 

**Tommy** : @Billy

 **Billy** : To Be a Man from Holy Musical B@tman? 

**Teddy** : That song is a b o p 

**Tommy** : yeh that one 

**Teddy** : But why does it fit them so well? 

**Tommy** : because i excel at everything i do theo

 **Teddy** : Don't call me that. 

**Tommy** : t h e o 

**Cassie** : Why aren't Nate and Eli in this chat again? 

**Kate** : Because they hate fun, Cassie

 **Tommy** : how did tutoring go

 **Kate** : It was cut short because the kids started fighting 

**Tommy** : i miss those terrors 

**Billy** : If you miss them than please come watch them

 **Teddy** : You okay, Bill? 

**Billy** : No I legitimately can't handle these two 

**Teddy** : Want me to come over and watch them while you work on that math project? 

**Tommy** : code for: get laid 

**Teddy** : No man he actually has a project 

**Billy** : _please_

 **Teddy** : Cool. I got that chocolate you like too. 

**Billy** : 😊

 **Kate** : Still need my help? 

**Cassie** : Yeah let me know if you need help!

 **Billy** : I love you all

 **Billy** : even you, Tommy

 **Tommy:** brotherly love

 **Tommy** : disgusting 

**Tommy** : billys walkout music would be look what you made me do

 **Tommy** : but like postmodern jukebox version 

**Tommy** : cuz hes lame just like them

 **Billy** : Love you too, Tommy 

**Tommy** : im adding people 

**Kate** : Please don't 

**Tommy** : @pete @harls

 **Tommy** : petes walkout music would be 100 bad days by ajr

 **Pete** : what is this

 **Harls** : why is this

 **Kate** : Thomas I said no

 **Tommy** : harlss walkout music would be iron man by black sabbath for obvious reasons

 **Pete** : Cool

 **Pete** : WHY am I here

 **Harls** : i don't even know who you people are

 **Kate** : Thomas you're a mess

 **Teddy** : Why am I in a chat with SPIDER-MAN now 

**Tommy** : can your little fanboy heart handle it

 **Tommy** : can my brothers little fanboy heart handle it

 **Teddy** : Tommy why

 **Tommy** : no one is asking tommy why not

 **Pete** : No one has answered WHY I AM HERE 

**Tommy** : _why not_

 **Kate** : Hold on boys 

**Kate** : I'll kick you out

 **Tommy** : NO 

**Tommy** : KATE DON'T 

**Harls** : wait i know a Kate

 **Pete** : I swear to god Harley is just going to know everyone's identity through chats 

**Harls** : to be fair

 **Harls** : i got yours through a phone call

 **Kate** : Am I kicking you out or are you staying?

 **Harls** : i'm not sure 

**Harls** : this could be fun

 **Pete:** What's one more gc

 **Cassie** : Hi Peter! Hi Harley! 

**Pete** : Hi Cassie! 

**Harls** : hi girl named Cassie! 

**Cassie:** Look what dad got me! 

**Cassie:** [Flowers ](https://pin.it/4Go747q)

**Teddy** : Cass that is beautiful 

**Tommy** : remember that cursed time 

**Tommy** : when ted and cass made music videos 

**Teddy** : We don't talk of those times

 **Billy** : I still have those saved 

**Teddy** : You are the only person allowed to have that saved. 

**Tommy** : @Billy

 **Billy** : What

 **Tommy** : i have a question

 **Billy** : What

 **Tommy** : its a serious question 

**Billy** : What

 **Tommy** : completely serious

 **Billy** : _What_

 **Tommy** : is there a universe where youre ever like _damn im hot_ and sleep with yourself

 **Kate** : Tommy what the actual fuck

 **Billy** : _I hate you_

 **Tommy** : IS THERE

 **Teddy** : No

 **Teddy** : Cuz we're together in every one 😊

 **Harls** : aww that's cute 

**Tommy** : thats disgusting 

**Tommy** : like billys face 

**Billy** : We have the same face???? 

**Tommy** : i wear it better 

**Cassie** : I think you're both handsome

 **Cassie** : Kate's the handsomest though 

**Kate** : Cassie is my favorite child

**Cassie** : French fries are a valid meal right?

 **Tommy** : _do it_

 **Kate** : I want to say no

 **Kate** : Because you need to eat actual food

 **Kate** : But I'm also on my third pint of Ben and Jerry's so

 **Kate** : Go for it girl

 **Cassie** : Y e s 

**Pete** : Kate you okay? 

**Kate** : Yes. 

**Kate** : Eli told me I had to watch my figure so I'm just watching him get angrier the more ice cream I eat

 **Billy** : I hope you're keeping uncomfortable eye contact 

**Kate** : _Always_

 **Teddy** : Eli is my favorite angry friend 

**Billy** : Because he's so _short_

 **Kate** : Bill did you finish your project? 

**Billy** : No **😭😭😭😭**

 **Cassie:** Awe Billy don't cry

 **Kate** : FINISH YOUR PROJECT 

**Billy** : I AM EATING DINNER STOP YELLING AT ME 

**Harls** : how old are you all 

**Pete** : Kate's oldest 

**Kate** : 19

 **Cassie** : 16 

**Teddy** : 17

 **Billy:** Tommy and I are 17 

**Harls** : oh god

 **Harls** : i'm the oldest here 

**Tommy** : d a d 

**Teddy:** Oof 

**Harls** : @Pete we're parents again

 **Pete** : Miles is still my favorite child 

**Billy** : Wait

 **Billy** : SPIDER-MAN 

**Pete** : No 

**Pete** : I'm P e t e r 

**Harls** : spider parker 

**Tommy** : there he is 

**Tommy** : is he crying @teddy

 **Teddy** : Only over math

 **Billy** : Always over math

 **Kate:** Do you need me again? 

**Billy** : Kate I always need you 

**Kate** : lmao I'm with Cassie so you're getting both of us

 **Billy** : _Thank you_

**Kate:** Cassie is the cutest girl in this whole world

 **Kate** : And we do not deserve her

 **Kate** : [Cassie](https://pin.it/2Q2lisw)

 **Cassie** : 😊😊😊😊

 **Pete** : she is adorable 

**Tommy:** no one

 **Tommy** : no one

 **Tommy** : absolutely no one

 **Tommy** : kate

 **Tommy** : [Kate](https://pin.it/100OPJ2)

 **Harls** : so you ARE that Kate

 **Kate** : Wow and you're the heir to a billion dollar company 

**Harls** : i feel both oddly complimented and insulted? 

**Teddy:** That's how Kate works.

**Harls** : wait which one of you is the fast boi

 **Tommy** : _zoom zoom_

 **Billy** : ^

 **Harls** : i have a question for you

 **Tommy** : _zyoom zyoom_

 **Harls** : how many bugs do you eat each day 

**Tommy** : _so many_

**Kate** : Nate just screeched because he saw Billy and Teddy taking a break 

**Pete** : who's Nate? 

**Harls** : yeh that

 **Kate** : A dipshit 

**Billy** : He's not that bad

 **Cassie** : He's actually pretty sweet 

**Kate** : Bill he just yelled at you for eating a granola bar 

**Billy** : And I zapped him we all good

 **Teddy:** It was funny because it made his suit malfunction and he was sent back into the brick wall

**Teddy** : Isn't it funny how much Tommy pretends to dislike Billy but he was also the first one to check on him after he fell? 

**Tommy** : lies and slander 

**Kate** : Tommy has a heart 

**Tommy** : lies and _slander_

 **Billy** : Tommy got me like this super rare comic for Hanukkah last year 

**Tommy** : LIES AND SLANDER 

**Tommy** : cassie is the only one i love 

**Cassie:** Aww I love you too, Tommy

 **Cassie** : You love your brother too, though

 **Billy** : Ha! 

**Tommy** : _LIES AND SLANDER_

**Teddy** : Nate and Eli: okay guys one more time

 **Teddy** : Everyone: groaning 

**Teddy** : Billy: Do you mean _dance party_

 **Tommy** : he just magiced the music into playing and 

**Tommy** : im not even mad 

**Kate** : [Dancing](https://pin.it/Era5Dmf)

 **Kate** : Nate and Eli were so mad but Bill and Cass were dancing all cute so they got over it quick 

**Teddy** : You also threatened them 

**Kate** : I'm not sorry 🤷‍♀️

**Billy** : Teddy Altman is perfection and that is all

 **Tommy** : did you just get laid and feel the need to tell the whole chat

 **Pete** : You are c h i l d r e n 

**Teddy** : Lmao all I did was put the kids to bed 

**Billy** : Put the _terrors_ to sleep you mean

 **Harls** : how much younger are they

 **Billy** : 7 and 10

 **Harls** : oof 

**Tommy** : man those kids are the best trouble tornadoes

 **Tommy** : remind me of myself 

**Harls** : wait if you two are brothers 

**Harls** : why don't you live together 

**Tommy** : because the kaplans hate me 

**Billy** : Because we were separated at birth

 **Tommy** : the kaplans dont like me because im not jewish

 **Billy** : False

 **Billy** : My parents would adopt you in a second 

**Harls** : wild 

**Harls** : that cleared up nothing 

**Tommy** : me to ted

 **Tommy** : you find me hotter than billy right 

**Tommy** : ted

 **Tommy** : [Teddy](https://pin.it/6NbIAjB)

 **Billy** : 🙃🙃🙃🙃

**Kate** : I just washed Clint pour dish soap in a cup

 **Kate** : Forget it was there 

**Kate** : Pour in water 

**Kate** : And drink it 

**Billy** : Wild

 **Pete** : relatable 

**Harls** : do it

 **Harls** : i bet you won't 

**Pete** : w a t c h m e

 **Tommy** : lmao theyre a better couple than bill and ted

 **Cassie** : Billy and Teddy are adorable! 

**Kate** : I've shipped them since day one, Shephard leave them alone 

**Cassie** : Peter and Harley are hot. Billy and Teddy are cute. 

**Pete** : you are c h i l d r e n 

**Harls** : yeh we are 😎

 **Pete** : he means 

**Pete** : 🤠

 **Pete** : cuz he's southern 

**Harls** : Secret identities mean nothing to you do they 

**Billy** : You're right, Cassie

 **Cassie:** I know 😇

**Billy** : What's the point in sleeping when you can sleep when you're dead? 

**Pete** : because your body needs to reset? 

**Billy** : Nah Spidey it's cool

 **Billy** : Sleep is for the weak and I am not weak

 **Billy:** Plus I have this math project that is killing me 

**Billy:** And mom and dad aren't home yet 

**Pete** : it's like 4am Billy

 **Pete** : Go to sleep

 **Billy** : No thank you 🙃

 **Billy** : Why are you up anyway? 

**Pete** : I woke up to get some milk 

**Pete** : Saw your text 

**Pete** : And got a little concerned 

**Billy** : You drink milk at 4am? 

**Pete** : Don't judge me child

**Pete** : Your project will still be there in the morning you know that right

 **Billy** : It's already morning and I've pushed it off enough already

 **Pete** : When is it due? 

**Billy** : Thursday

 **Pete** : Kid, it's _Saturday_

 **Billy** : I know 😭 I meant to start it last week but then training happened 

**Pete** : N o

 **Pete** : I mean G O t o s l e e p

 **Pete** : You have plenty of time

 **Pete** : Do a little every day and you'll be done in time 

**Teddy** : Why are you both up? 

**Billy** : Morning Teddy

 **Teddy** : Morning, hon

 **Teddy** : Bad night? 

**Pete** : Why _are you up so early_

 **Teddy** : I always wake up this early

 **Teddy** : I go for a run and then make breakfast for me and mom

 **Billy** : I just don't sleep

 **Teddy:** He's right though, Bill. Do a little bit everyday and you'll be okay.

 **Billy** : 🙃🙃🙃🙃

 **Cassie** : Good morning! 

**Tommy** : why tf is my phone going off so early 

**Harls** : Peter why haven't you come to bed yet? 

**Kate** : _Freaky_

 **Kate** : Billy have you even tried to sleep yet

 **Billy** : 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

 **Kate** : smh 

**Cassie** : Billy, I'll come over today to help with the project? I can bring my dad! 

**Billy** : I have therapy today

 **Tommy** : theres the real lack of sleep reason

 **Harls** : therapy is cool

 **Billy** : Therapy is bullshit 

**Tommy** : im bringing over donuts william strawberry for you? 

**Billy** : Yes please 

**Kate** : _I do not love Billy my ass Thomas_

**Harls** : you guys are on this so much how do you find the time

 **Teddy** : Our generation doesn't know how to talk in person so we stick to text cuz it's easier than phone calls

 **Cassie** : I just love my friends

 **Tommy** : cassie is so p u r e 

**Pete** : ^^

 **Kate** : ^^


	2. Childhood Trauma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone that read chapter one, kudoed, commented, bookmarked. You all mean the world to me. Stay safe out there loves.

_**Like You, Only Better** _

**Tommy** : if youre ever feeling weird about your life 

**Tommy** : remember me and billy literally were born out of the ether 

**Tommy** : and technically have _no parents_ to share dna with 

**Harls** : w i l d

 **Teddy** : Thinking of where you two come from always gives me a headache 

**Tommy** : and billy is dating an _alien prince_

 **Harls** : i am so genuinely confused right now 

**Harls** : but like okay

 **Harls** : Billy's dating Teddy right? 

**Billy** : Yes 

**Teddy** : Yes

 **Tommy** : unfortunately 

**Tommy** : i would hope my brother would have better taste 

**Teddy** : Why do you hate me? 

**Tommy** : i dont

 **Tommy** : let me revise my earlier statement 

**Tommy** : _teddy_ should have better taste 

**Billy** : W o w 

**Kate** : Tommy no

 **Cassie** : Awe no they're perfect for each other 

**Teddy** : Stop being jealous of Billy on main 

**Teddy** : It just makes you look like an ass

 **Kate** : Woop there's protective Teddy 

**Teddy** : 🤷‍♂️

 **Harls** : Teddy's an alien prince? 

**Harls** : that's kinda cool 

**Teddy** : No it's not

 **Billy** : It kinda is

 **Harls** : like do you rule anything 

**Kate:** Hot nerdom 

**Billy** : ^^

 **Harls** : that sounds… fun

 **Teddy** : My mom was a princess and my dad a crown prince of a warring empire. They were like real life Romeo and Juliet, including the death. 

**Teddy** : I don't actually really like talking about that part of myself tbh. 

**Harls** : oop

 **Harls** : my dad's a hydra agent

 **Teddy** : That must be fun. 

**Harls** : yeh man it's a great story to tell at parties

**Cassie** : [Kate](https://pin.it/63fREcw)

 **Cassie** : I love when Kate's back in NYC. 

**Pete** : Kate where do you go to school? 

**Kate** : NYU

 **Kate** : I miss Cali and what not 

**Kate** : But I love these idiots 

**Cassie:** Aww we love you too

 **Kate** : You're not an idiot Cass, sorry for lumping you in there 

**Tommy** : i take offense here 

**Kate** : Prove me wrong

 **Tommy** : i did not trip over my own cape during training 

**Tommy** : i did not shoot my own water bottle with an arrow by accident 

**Tommy** : i did not grow instead of shrink an entire pen so that it nearly speared nate 

**Tommy** : though that was funny cass

 **Billy** : Tommy _did_ however run so fast he didn't notice a wall and just face planted into it 

**Teddy:** Which is what set off that chain reaction of events listed above. 

**Pete** : How did we get here when all I asked was about school? 

**Tommy** : lmao remember when billy literally electrocuted someone 

**Teddy** : You really don't know how to read the room do you, Tom? 

**Tommy** : wdym

 **Kate** : Are you officially done with school @Pete? 

**Pete** : Yeah! Finished a few months ago. 

**Harls** : Pete really be up in here finishing early and shit 

**Cassie** : That's so cool, Peter! 

**Cassie** : I can't wait to go to college. 

**Cassie** : I think I'm gonna study mechanical engineering 

**Harls** : if you need help in any of that stuff i'm here to help

 **Cassie** : You're so sweet, thank you. 

**Cassie** : Hank said the same thing

 **Pete** : H a n k P y m just o f f e r s you help and shit 

**Cassie** : Yeah he's not as cool as my dad though

 **Kate** : Props to Antman 

**Kate** : The Best Dad to Ever Dad

 **Harls** : are you somehow related to clint

 **Kate** : Fuck no

 **Kate** : Could you imagine that level of dumbassery? 

**Kate** : Clint's cool but like my dumbass older brother 

**Teddy** : I think Cassie's the only one of us with a stable father figure 

**Harls** : well damn 

**Pete** : Ain't that the truth 

**Harls** : Matt would cry if he heard you say that 

**Pete** : don't you d a r e

**Billy:** _excuse you_

**Teddy:** oof right how did I forget about Mister Kaplan? 

**Cassie** : @Teddy is Billy okay? 

**Teddy** : Yeah 

**Tommy** : ted scolded me over the phone _loudly_

 **Harls** : did you deserve it

 **Tommy** : _maybe_

**Billy:** I got a B on my math project!!!! 

**Kate** : HUZZAH 

**Cassie** : YAY!

 **Cassie:** Way to go, Billy! 

**Billy** : I'm so happy I could cry 

**Billy** : Thanks for the help guys

 **Kate** : Literally anytime, Bill you know that

 **Cassie** : Same! 

**Harls** : so pure 

**Harls** : so wholesome

**Billy** : Tommy just told the girl taking our order that if there aren't enough jalapeños in his burger that his mouth feels on _fire_ than he will be back to ask for more

 **Pete** : What even

 **Kate** : If he burns a hole in his mouth maybe he won't be able to talk

 **Cassie** : Is Teddy there too? 

**Teddy** : Why do people think we're together 24/7? 

**Kate** : Because you usually _are_

 **Tommy** : billy bought me burgers 🍔 

**Billy** : Forced brother bonding time

 **Tommy** : it's not _terrible_

 **Billy** : He comes for the free food

 **Tommy** : rebecca gives good money for these bonding sessions to happen 

**Billy** : As a psychiatrist mom fully believes that we should _bond_ now since we never had a chance before

 **Pete** : That's pretty sweet actually

 **Billy** : Tommy likes to pretend he hates it 

**Tommy** : if i wanted to stare at my own face id look in the mirror 

**Billy** : 🙃 yet here he is

 **Tommy** : i do this for the _free food_

**Billy** : Sure 

**Teddy** : Keep telling yourself that buddy 

**Harls** : does tommy just refuse to admit he actually cares about his brother? 

**Kate** : Regularly 

**Harls:** lmao why

 **Tommy** : childhood trauma

 **Tommy** : _why else_

 **Billy** : [Tommy](https://pin.it/NdCj29n)

 **Billy** : Tommy got his burgers 

**Pete** : f u c k I want Five Guys 

**Kate** : In and Out is better 

**Pete** : You lying piece of 

**Kate** : Of what?

 **Kate** : You wanna _fight_ Spider-Man?! 

**Tommy** : _oooooo_

 **Teddy** : No offense, Spidey but Kate would win

 **Kate** : _Kate will win_

 **Pete** : T r y m e 

**Harls** : Pete babe

 **Harls** : you can't fight children

 **Kate** : Excuse you, IronDick I am an _adult_

 **Billy** : _Irondick_

 **Tommy** : have i told you that i love you lately, kate

 **Teddy** : _What is happening_

 **Cassie** : Please don't fight

 **Kate** : Pft fine

 **Kate** : For Cassie 

**Harls** : i am o f f e n d e d 

**Teddy** : Friendly reminder that William Kaplan is a god

 **Billy** : No _shh_

 **Tommy** : you really out here just thirsting on main 

**Cassie** : Aww is it appreciate Billy time? 

**Cassie** : Cuz he's really great 

**Billy** : Ahhh no 

**Kate** : What's happening 

**Kate** : Billy is the sweetest disaster child I have 

**Kate** : He brought me flowers for my birthday 

**Teddy** : He speaks _Hebrew_

 **Teddy** : Just casually slipped into Hebrew and held a whole conversation with an old lady at the grocery store

 **Kate** : So pure 

**Teddy** : Like look at this face 

**Teddy:** [Billy](https://pin.it/3L0mo1t)

 **Teddy** : I love this fucking face 

**Billy** : I love your fucking face 

**Tommy** : _i love my fucking face_

 **Cassie** : I love all of you 

**Pete** : why are you all so n i c e 

**Harls** : ^^ 

**Kate** : Childhood trauma 

**Tommy** : _what else_


	3. Bowel Issues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I call this chapter: distraction from Angst Fest 2020 over at Part 1.

**Kate:** I made the mistake of asking Billy who his favorite Avenger is 

**Teddy:** Scarlet Witch

**Teddy** : easy

**Billy:** Teddy's is She Hulk

**Kate** : you went on an  _ hour long rant  _ William

**Cassie:** Don't ask if you don't want to know? 

**Billy:** ^ 

**Billy:** Thanks Cassie

**Kate:** Did you want to know  _ why _ Doctor Strange is nothing compared to Scarlet Witch? 

**Kate** : cuz I could probably tell you why now 

**Teddy** : please do 

**Tommy:** please  _ dont _

**Cassie:** Why are you killing the fun Tommy? 

**Billy** : Yeah Tommy

**Teddy:** YEAH TOMMY

**Tommy:** fuck you’re all annoying

**Billy:** _ so are you _

**Tommy:** excuse you

**Billy:** Excuse your face

**Tommy:** excuse  _ your _ face

**Teddy:** You  _ have the same face _

**Kate:** Whatever possessed me to start a group chat

**Cassie:** You wanted somewhere to complain about Eli and Nate

**Teddy:** ^

**Kate:** God true

**Kate:** Eli is a functional dumbass

**Billy:** what about Eli is functional

**Tommy:** he said it before i could

**Tommy:** _ but what about eli is functional _

**Billy:** Copycat

**Tommy:** _ shh kate’s telling a story _

**Kate:** He asked me how I calculate the exact angle to shoot each arrow

**Kate:** And did not appreciate my answer of “just look bro”

**Kate:** He asked me “but  _ how _ ”

**Kate:** I told him “point and shoot bitch” 

**Kate:** He was not happy

**Tommy:** _ just point and shoot bitch _

**Tommy:** can i get that tattooed on my head

**Billy:** sure man

**Teddy:** if I get approached by one more skrull 

**Billy:** Want me to burn down their empire? 

**Billy:** Because I could

**Tommy:** _ he could just erase them from existence _

**Billy:** if I do that then I erase Teddy though

**Billy:** And I 

**Billy:** Do Not want that

**Cassie:** Please don’t erase Teddy

**Teddy:** I concur 

**Teddy:** Thanks for offering though

**Billy:** _ I didn’t offer to erase Teddy _

**Tommy:** shh yes he did

**Billy:** Thomas

**Tommy:** billium

**Teddy:** jfc you two fight a lot

**Billy:** Why did I ever say I wanted another brother

**Tommy:** remember when i wanted to not be an only child

**Billy:** You wanted to not be an only child? 

**Kate:** Did Tommy just admit to feelings? 

**Cassie:** positive feelings about having a brother? 

**Tommy:** _ never _

**Billy:** awe Tommy

**Tommy:** _ i have admitted nothing _

**Teddy:** lmao you love him

**Billy:** I love you too! 

**Tommy:** _ i hate you all  _

**Teddy:** So Billy and I were on a date right

**Kate:** ofc

**Tommy:** are you ever  _ not _ on a date

**Cassie:** How cute! Where were you? 

**Tommy:** the comic book store 

**Billy:** Midtown Comics

**Tommy:** _ i was right _

**Tommy:** _such predictable nerds_

**Teddy:** Yeah cuz the new issues get released every friday 

**Teddy:** Anyway

**Teddy:** We’re on a date and just wandering through the store cuz it’s almost Taylor’s birthday

**Kate:** Which one is Taylor again? 

**Billy:** Annoying Younger Brother #1

**Tommy:** _ my favorite kaplan _

**Teddy:** The middle kid

**Kate:** Perf got it

**Teddy:** And this guy like 

**Teddy:** comes out of nowhere

**Teddy:** And rams right into me and just 

**Teddy:** Makes me drop everything

**Cassie:** Oof

**Cassie:** I hope nothing got damaged

**Tommy:** what would get damaged they’re literally in the nerd store

**Cassie:** Those comics are worth a lot of money if they’re first editions!

**Billy:** ^

**Billy:** And wrinkled and bent pages don’t make for good condition

**Teddy:** Nothing got damaged  _ thank god _

**Tommy:** _ thank god _

**Tommy:** _ whatever would we have done _

**Teddy:** And so I bend down to get them

**Billy:** Hits heads with this guy

**Teddy:** And  _ finally _ get to see the guy’s face

**Teddy:** And he’s all like 

**Teddy:** “Watch where you’re going macho man.” 

**Teddy:** And tries to  _ square up to fight _

**Kate:** omg

**Tommy:** did the nerd store actually get cool

**Tommy:** i am s h o o k 

**Teddy:** So I was all, “You walked into me, dude.” 

**Teddy:** But I apologize anyway because I was raised to be  _ nice _ unlike this dick head

**Cassie:** Oh no they really offended you didn’t they

**Tommy:** _ did teddy just swear _

**Billy:** This guy hasn’t turned around once and I have arms full of Teddy’s stuff

**Teddy:** And when he finally does he just  _ f r e e z e s  _

**Kate:** w h y 

**Tommy:** _ did you turn big and green  _

**Teddy:** I didn’t  _ have  _ to

**Teddy:** Because this guy 

**Billy:** Kessler

**Cassie:** OH NO

**Kate:** NOOOOOOO

**Tommy:** _ that bitch  _

**Tommy:** tell me you roasted him 

**Teddy:** Billy just goes, “Well fuck you too.” 

**Tommy:** _ legend _

**Teddy:** And the guy almost  _ peed himself I swear  _

**Teddy:** He turned back around and I was like, “ _ Dude this guy is psycho.”  _

**Kate:** nooooooOOOOOOOO 

**Teddy:** And I just go, “Thanks I’ll keep him.” 

**Cassie:** _ Thanks I’ll keep him _

**Tommy:** _ then did you turn big and green _

**Teddy:** THEN I turned slightly green

**Billy:** And then he did pee himself 

**Teddy:** and got thrown out

**Teddy:** it was pretty great 

**Tommy:** _ legends  _

**Kate:** Way to stick it to bullies 

**Kate:** god I’ve never even met him and I hate him

**Cassie:** I met him once like freshman year

**Billy:** He transferred out 

**Teddy:** I’d say for good reason but 

**Teddy:** Fuck that homophobic asshole

**Billy:** I mean

**Teddy:** No

**Teddy:** Don’t feel bad for defending yourself

**Kate:** With powers you didn’t even know you had

**Cassie:** Let alone how to control

**Tommy:** _ i would set him on fire for you _

**Billy:** That’s mildly concerning

**Billy:** But thanks, I guess? 

**Teddy:** Has anyone heard from our adults in this chat lately? 

**Kate:** me? 

**Cassie:** I know they’re working that missing kid’s case

**Billy:** Yeah mom and dad won’t stop talking about it

**Teddy:** Should we be worried? 

**Tommy:** we could tag them

**Kate:** Don’t tag them

**Kate:** Harls texted me like two days ago

**Kate:** Some shit is going down and they need to focus on them right now

**Billy:** Do they need our help? 

**Kate:** Not yet

**Kate:** But we’re on standby

**Kate:** Unofficial of course

**Tommy:** ofc

**Teddy:** Should we be worried? 

**Kate:** idk man

**Kate:** Probably? 

**Cassie:** oh no

**Cassie:** if I tag them in something now that’s like just encouraging do you think it would be bad? 

**Kate:** Honestly Cas

**Kate:** I’d just wait until they come to us

**Cassie:** awe man

**Cassie:** okay

**Cassie:** well

**Cassie:** if they scroll up at anytime 

**Cassie:** I love you both! 

**Billy:** ^

**Billy:** We’re here for you guys! 

**Teddy:** As superfriends and human friends

**Tommy:** lemmie know if i need to set anything on fire for you

**Billy:** That’s Tommy’s way of saying he cares

**Kate:** [Cassie](https://pin.it/3NOwRws)

**Kate:** Cassie is the best

**Billy:** rt

**Teddy:** rt

**Tommy:** rt

**Cassie:** Awe

**Cassie:** moose Kate

**Cassie:** [Moose Kate](https://pin.it/32ot4ug)

**Billy:** Where are you two

**Teddy:** Nate is freaking out 

**Billy:** It’s kind of funny

**Billy:** But mostly annoying

**Tommy:** did you give my excuse for not showing

**Billy:** You mean the one that said “make something up” 

**Tommy:** yes

**Billy:** Yes

**Tommy:** what did you make up

**Billy:** Bowel issues

**Tommy:** solid 

  
  



	4. Prom Woes

**Tommy:** kate

 **Tommy:** kate

 **Tommy:** kate

 **Tommy:** kate

 **Tommy:** kate

 **Tommy:** kate

 **Tommy:** kate

 **Billy:** No

 **Tommy:** kate

 **Teddy:** Why? 

**Cassie:** Hi guys!

 **Tommy:** hi cassie

 **Teddy:** Hi Cassie!

 **Billy:** Tommy no

 **Billy:** Stop

 **Billy:** Just

 **Billy:** STOP TYPING

 **Kate:** You’re all so loud

 **Kate:** And it’s so early

 **Kate:** Don’t you have class to be in

 **Teddy:** I would never ever text in class

 **Tommy:** kate

 **Kate:** I feel like that’s a very obvious lie Theodore

 **Teddy:** 🙃🙃🙃🙃

 **Kate:** Oh god you even text like Billy now

 **Billy:** What

 **Cassie:** Billy! Wanna be lab partners? 

**Billy:** God please

 **Cassie:** Yay!

 **Kate:** So wholesome

 **Kate:** But you’re all in school get off your phones

 **Harls:** aren’t you also in school

 **Tommy:** kate

 **Kate:** Thomas

 **Teddy:** Harley’s back!

 **Harls:** oop hi

 **Harls:** sorry for going mia

 **Billy:** Don’t be we’re all absolutely crazy

 **Tommy:** k a t e

 **Kate:** Thomas WHAT

 **Harls:** i like crazy

 **Teddy:** Did the mission go okay? We were all a little worried. 

**Harls:** yeh as well as could be expected

 **Billy:** Is Spidey okay? 

**Tommy:** k a t e l y i n 

**Kate:** that’s not even how you spell my name

 **Harls:** that’s so sweet of you to ask omg

 **Harls:** yeah he’ll be okay

 **Billy:** And _you’re_ okay right? 

**Harls:** i’ll be fine 

**Harls:** i’ve had worse

 **Billy:** That

 **Billy:** That doesn’t mean you’re okay

 **Cassie:** ^

 **Cassie:** Let us know if you need anything!

 **Harls:** you’re all the sweetest high schoolers i have ever met

 **Tommy:** _kate_

 **Kate:** omfg Tommy **what**

 **Harls:** how are all of your lives 

**Harls:** we sort of disappeared for a while there

 **Tommy:** kate wont talk to me

 **Billy:** She’s literally been trying to answer you this whole time

 **Tommy:** stay out of this billium

 **Teddy:** _Billium_

 **Teddy:** Omg you don’t know about how Eli got kicked through a wall!

 **Harls:** i

 **Harls:** do not

 **Harls:** tell me more

 **Kate:** He got kicked through a wall that’s the majority of the story

 **Teddy:** CASSIE KICKED HIM THROUGH A WALL

 **Billy:** That was a _wild_ day

 **Pete:** I feel obligated to point out that you’re all in class right now and should probably be paying attention to what’s happening

 **Billy:** psh it’s just science

 **Cassie:** Yeah if something blows up we get an A

 **Billy:** ^

 **Pete:** That’s

 **Harls:** a truly brilliant way to teach science

 **Pete:** Worrying Harley that’s worrying

 **Cassie:** lmao sometimes it just be like that

 **Billy:** oh! Hi Spidey!

 **Pete:** Hi Billy

 **Pete:** This feels weird to request but please call me by my name? 

**Billy:** that feels so weird to do but lmao sure okay

 **Teddy:** This is going against all fanboy principles

 **Harls:** wait so go back

 **Harls:** Cassie kicked Eli through a wall? 

**Cassie:** Yes!

 **Cassie:** It wasn’t on purpose though!

 **Cassie:** We were practicing with our suits on and when I shrink I get like _super ant strength_

 **Pete:** Your suit works like Ant-Man’s yeah? 

**Tommy:** omfg ka t e 

**Kate:** WHAT DO YOU WANT TOMMY

 **Tommy:** idk _your love_

 **Kate:** Go hug a tree

 **Tommy:** go to prom with me

 **Kate:** no

 **Cassie:** Yeah it’s pretty cool! Hank and Hope helped make it. 

**Pete:** I am still in shock that you know Hank Pym

 **Harls:** ^

 **Harls:** so you just

 **Harls:** yeeted him through a wall? 

**Billy:** lmao basically

 **Teddy:** Cassie karate kicked him as an ant

 **Cassie:** I didn’t mean to!

 **Billy:** It’s fine, Cas he laughed about it

 **Teddy:** Which was a little weird

 **Harls:** did he get hurt?

 **Cassie:** No

 **Billy:** I caught him

 **Teddy:** Eli says hi btw

 **Harls:** i have never met this Eli

 **Pete:** You all don’t go to school together right? 

**Teddy:** naw

 **Kate:** Eli’s in college with me

 **Kate:** Not the same college but college

 **Teddy:** Eli goes to NYU

 **Kate:** oh shit we do go to the same school

 **Kate:** lmao we’re dating and idek what school he goes to

 **Harls:** i aspire to have the level of apathy that Kate does 

**Pete:** no you don’t

 **Harls:** no i don’t

 **Cassie:** Billy and I go to school together in Manhattan

 **Teddy:** I’m on Long Island 

**Tommy:** brooklyn

 **Pete:** True New Yorkers unite!

 **Harls:** i’m from bumfuck Tennessee

 **Kate:** yeah everyone knows country boy

 **Harls:** 😲

**Harls:** what’s everyone’s powers

 **Kate:** Apathy

 **Pete:** I’m s t i c k y

 **Tommy:** _zyoom zyoom_

 **Cassie:** I don’t have powers per say

 **Cassie:** I just have a super cool suit and lots of determination

 **Harls:** same

 **Teddy:** I’m part Skrull so I can transform into anything 

**Tommy:** even a fridge?

 **Teddy:** We will never know 

**Teddy:** Because I will never try

 **Tommy:** how rude of you

 **Pete:** I don’t understand Billy’s powers

 **Billy:** _I_ don’t understand Billy’s powers

 **Teddy:** ^

 **Kate:** Electricity? 

**Tommy:** portals? 

**Cassie:** flight? 

**Teddy:** His adorable face? 

**Harls:** lmao spot the boyfriend

 **Teddy:** I refuse to hide it

 **Billy:** I have a feeling Parkner is adorable

 **Harls:** p

 **Harls:** parkner

 **Teddy:** OMG 

**Teddy:** PERFECT SHIP NAME

 **Cassie:** ^^^^^^

 **Tommy:** _i hate that i understand this_

 **Pete:** We have a ship name? 

**Kate:** P a r k n e r 

**Harls:** wait i’m confused

 **Billy:** It’s okay it’s just cuz you’re old

 **Tommy:** _yes roast him_

 **Harls:** shsudfhsduhf 

**Harls:** WHAT

 **Pete:** oh wow

 **Kate:** Lmao

 **Harls:** i am insulted

 **Billy:** it be like that sometimes

 **Harls:** afgshaidhw

 **Teddy:** Damn Billy

 **Teddy:** How dare you say something so controversial yet so true

 **Harls:** fhsudfhsduf wWHAT

 **Tommy:** _omg the nerds strike back_

 **Pete:** Did you just make a Star Wars reference? 

**Tommy:** maybe

 **Harls:** i

 **Harls:** w h a t 

**Pete:** Lmao you’re old

 **Harls:** YOU’RE LIKE SIX MONTHS YOUNGER THAN ME

 **Kate:** lmao you’re both old

 **Cassie:** ^^^^

 **Cassie:** I’m baby

 **Tommy:** yes but you’re our baby

 **Billy:** That sounds weird Tom 

**Kate:** I did not like that sentence

**Tommy:** kate

 **Kate:** no

 **Tommy:** go to prom with me

 **Kate:** ask literally anyone else

 **Tommy:** harley

 **Harls:** i

 **Harls:** yes

 **Tommy:** go to prom with me

 **Pete:** Harley don’t say yes you’re like 24 you can’t just go into a high school and not be arrested on sight

 **Harls:** damn you’re not fun

 **Tommy:** wow i have never hated spidey more

 **Kate:** wow way to kill a dream Pete

 **Pete:** I don’t want to have to bail Harley out of prison

 **Tommy:** you're just scared i’ll steal your bf

 **Pete:** Literally that has never crossed my mind

 **Tommy:** are you sure

 **Tommy:** cuz i’m _fast_

 **Billy:** Jfc Tommy we _know_ you’re _fast_ that’s literally all you say

 **Tommy:** go back to class n e r d

 **Billy:** It’s lunch

 **Tommy:** go back to lunch n e r d

 **Pete:** Why are you the way you are

 **Tommy:** _cuz i’m fast_

 **Harls:** but Pete

 **Harls:** i wanna go to prom

 **Teddy:** My school’s looking for chaperones still 

**Teddy:** If you wanna idk toss your name in there

 **Pete:** That

 **Harls:** OMG YES LET'S DO THAT

 **Pete:** uhm

 **Pete:** okay

 **Teddy:** Lmao I’ll send the form 

**Billy:** yay prom

 **Cassie:** He’s excited only to go to Teddy’s prom

 **Billy:** well

 **Cassie:** It makes sense 

**Tommy:** _wait_

**Tommy:** Cas

 **Cassie:** Yes Tommy? 

**Tommy:** _want to go to prom with me_

 **Cassie:** I’m literally your last choice? 

**Cassie:** also when’s prom cuz I’m going with Billy to ours

 **Tommy:** william you literally have a boyfriend

 **Teddy:** I’m not allowed to go 

**Teddy:** 😔😔😔😔

 **Harls:** your mom won’t let you go? 

**Billy:** My school won’t let him go

 **Kate:** Wait what why

 **Billy:** 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

 **Kate:** Billy

 **Cassie:** Same sex couples aren’t allowed

 **Pete:** what

 **Harls:** what sort of school do you go to

 **Cassie:** A private school 

**Billy:** It’s the only one that would take me after Kessler

 **Kate:** what the actual fuck

 **Billy:** I don’t even want to go

 **Cassie:** I’m making him

 **Harls:** do you need a chaperone? 

**Billy:** Like they’d let you chaperone

 **Pete:** Why wouldn’t they let him chaperone? 

**Tommy:** damn i thought i went to a shit school

 **Tommy:** becca and jeff should just send you here

 **Billy:** A little late in the school year to switch schools again

 **Billy:** And they don’t know

 **Billy:** Don’t tell them

 **Harls:** are you okay

 **Teddy:** We’re used to it

 **Cassie:** ^

 **Cassie:** We’re presenting a united front

 **Cassie:** My friend Kamala is bringing Teddy as a way to sneak both of them in 

**Tommy:** i

 **Tommy:** i really hope ours isn’t the same day now

 **Cassie:** When is it? 

**Tommy:** june 10th

 **Cassie:** Oh!

 **Cassie:** Ours is in early May

 **Cassie:** I can totally go with you!

 **Tommy:** _omg yes_

**_Private Message _ **

**Harls:** hey

 **Harls:** i have a question

 **Billy:** Hi?

 **Harls:** lmao it’s not a bad question

 **Harls:** i don’t think it is anyway

 **Billy:** Okay

 **Billy:** Sorry if I disappear for a bit I have to pick up Luke

 **Harls:** Luke? 

**Harls:** wait brother

 **Harls:** you have so many brothers

 **Billy:** Don’t remind me

 **Harls:** lmao i’m happy i only have one sister

 **Billy:** Lucky

**Harls:** anyway

 **Harls:** question

 **Harls:** i’m sorry if this sounds intrusive or anything

 **Harls:** but like you go to therapy right

 **Billy:** Uhm

 **Harls:** sgusug that sounded so mean

 **Harls:** we just managed to convince Pete to go to therapy

 **Harls:** and i was hoping you knew anyone that could work 

**Harls:** you know with a superhero

 **Billy:** Oh!

 **Billy:** I mean mine isn’t taking anyone new

 **Billy:** And he doesn’t really know I’m anything more than powered

 **Billy:** But I think my mom is? 

**Harls:** yeah? 

**Billy:** Yeah! I’ll ask when I get home for you? 

**Billy:** Or just like send you her number

 **Billy:** Yeah I’ll send the number cuz I don’t want to have to explain how I know Spider-Man

 **Harls:** your mom doesn’t know you’re a superhero? 

**Billy:** God no

 **Billy:** I don’t want to have _that_ conversation yet

 **Harls:** would she be cool with it

 **Billy:** Probably not

 **Billy:** But idk 

**Billy:** It’s complicated

 **Harls:** i get that

 **Harls:** thanks for the help!

 **Billy:** Yeah np

**Harls:** about what’s happening at your school

 **Billy:** Honestly don’t really want to talk about it

 **Billy:** Sorry

 **Harls:** if you ever do though

 **Harls:** i grew up in homophobia central south

 **Harls:** i’m here

 **Billy:** Thanks

 **Billy:** I’ll try to keep it in mind

**_ Like You, Only Better _ **

**Kate:** Billy and Teddy are stupidly cute

 **Kate:** But I love them both so much

 **Teddy:** awe

 **Teddy:** What did I do now

 **Cassie:** The snap?!

 **Kate:** The snap.

 **Pete:** that has an entirely different connotation for me

 **Harls:** ^

 **Harls:** i assume you mean snapchat

 **Tommy:** yes they do old man

 **Harls:** fuck you

 **Tommy:** lmaooo

 **Pete:** Harley

 **Pete:** stop threatening children

 **Harls:** fight me fast boi

 **Tommy:** _is that a challenge_

 **Pete:** I give up

 **Kate:** you don’t have them on snap 

**Kate:**?

 **Billy:** Lmao no

 **Pete:** I rarely use snap

 **Harls:** i have snap

 **Harls:** why am i not friends with you on snap

 **Billy:** Because

 **Teddy:** If you post anything about superheroing I might literally freak out

 **Harls:** Pete’s is all videos or pics of Harry or Miles

 **Pete:** ^

 **Pete:** Harls is all ducks and chickens

 **Harls:** ^

 **Kate:** [Teddy's Snap](https://pin.it/1Q1iNIi)

 **Kate:** look how cute they are

 **Cassie:** Ugh 

**Cassie:** I want what you two have one day

 **Teddy:** We’re pretty cute

 **Billy:** ew 

**Tommy:** ew love

 **Teddy:** I had a good day after school today

 **Harls:** this is so cute omg

 **Pete:** Young love

 **Kate:** I have a file on my computer titled Wiccling that I’m going to show at their wedding one day

 **Teddy:** awe Kate

 **Kate:** ❤

**_Private Message_ **

**Harls:** i have a question

 **Billy:** Yes? 

**Harls:** do you want to go get ice cream later 

**Billy:** Uhm??? 

**Harls:** Teddy can come too

 **Harls:** Pete’s meeting with your mom today

 **Harls:** and i felt you needed it

 **Billy:** Ice cream or meeting with my mom? 

**Harls:** ice cream

 **Billy:** I mean

 **Billy:** who doesn’t need ice cream

 **Billy:** Let me check with dad and I’ll let you know? 

**Harls:**!!!

 **Harls:** yes!

 **Billy:** lmao you’re so excited

 **Harls:** ofc i am

 **Harls:** you’re a pretty cool kid to spend time with

 **Billy:** Okay sure whatever you say 

**Billy:** Dad said yes 

**Harls:** YES

 **Billy:** Are we meeting you somewhere or? 

**Harls:** is Stark Tower too far? 

**Billy:** lmao nah I’ll just pick up Teddy and meet you there

 **Harls:** Y E S 

**Harls:** Ice cream timeeeee

 **Billy:** You’re so weird

 **Harls:** thanks kid

 **Harls:** 🤣

  
  



	5. Spaceship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware hanging off the cliff

**_Like You, Only Better_ **

**Harls:** [Billy](https://pin.it/5sYR3rQ)

 **Harls:** i took Billy for ice cream yesterday 

**Harls:** and it is still one of the best things i have ever done

 **Kate:** Wait 

**Kate:** Why didn’t you take me for ice cream? 

**Harls:** i like Billy more

 **Kate:** _bitch_

 **Tommy:** why was i not invited

 **Billy:** Clearly I’m better than you

 **Teddy:** I am biased here 

**Teddy:** But Billy _is_ the Superior Twin

**Tommy: 😲**

**Tommy:** _betrayal_

 **Pete:** Harley’s trying to adopt you @Billy

 **Pete:** Run away while you can

 **Harls:** excuse you

 **Kate:** called out

 **Billy:** I… 

**Billy:** Have a dad already? 

**Tommy:** adopted _twice_

**Tommy:** how is that fair

 **Cassie:** Life isn’t fair

 **Kate:** A wild Cassie appears just to _roast_ Tommy

 **Tommy:** _ouch Cassie_

**Cassie: 😊**

**Pete:** Harley is jealous of Miles so

 **Harls:** i am not

 **Harls:** Miles is great how could i be jealous of Miles

 **Harls:** i just wanted ice cream and y o u said no

 **Billy:** I feel like we’re missing half this story

 **Kate:** Miles is spiderbaby yeah

 **Teddy:** Wait there’s a Spiderbaby

 **Teddy:** Is that a position that I can apply for

 **Billy:** ^

 **Tommy:** _nerds_

 **Cassie:** This is why everyone ignores you Tommy

 **Kate:** Lmao keep going Cas

 **Tommy:** _why is this happening_

 **Billy:** You are overly fond of italics

 **Kate:** A good question

 **Pete:** I do not have a Spiderbaby

 **Cassie:** Absolute lies floating through the air

 **Kate:** I stan one Cassie Lang

 **Pete:** w o w 

**Tommy:** wait it’s funny when it’s not me

 **Teddy:** Are there people out there that _don’t_ stan Cassie? 

**Cassie:** I stan Teddy Altman

 **Cassie:** Because he is literal sunshine

 **Teddy:** awe

 **Billy:** rt

 **Harls:** this is a texting conversation

 **Cassie:** go away old man

 **Kate:** OMGGGGG

 **Tommy:** _oo burn_

 **Harls:** i

 **Pete:** jfc

**Teddy: 😯😯😯😯**

**Billy:** lmao

**Tommy:** why can’t everyone’s time work the way mine does

 **Pete:** Physics

 **Harls:** don’t ask he’ll give a legit explanation

 **Kate:** The world does not run on Tommy Time

 **Tommy:** it should

 **Pete:** If the world ran on your time than it would feel exactly the same as it does now

 **Tommy:** _what_

 **Harls:** i told you

 **Pete:** I mean scientifically

 **Kate:** Omg stop I don’t even have science today

 **Harls:** what are you going to school for Kate

 **Kate:** Criminology

 **Tommy:** there’s a part of me that wants to know what Pete means but

 **Tommy:** i am Not Smart and would Not Understand

 **Harls:** you’re smart

 **Kate:** Sometimes

 **Tommy:** don’t lie to me 

**Pete:** Shouldn’t you be paying attention to class? 

**Tommy:** lmao i finished my work

 **Kate:** Literally Tom

 **Kate:** if you were dumb you wouldn’t finish class work so quick

 **Tommy:** i would though

 **Tommy:** _speedster problems_

 **Harls:** speed means nothing if you don’t know what you’re doing

 **Pete:** ^

 **Tommy:** i never know what i’m doing

 **Kate:** Didn’t you help Eli with college math yesterday? 

**Tommy:** he just asked how to calculate the speed and angle needed to knock over all the bottles during a carnival game

 **Kate:** Yeah and you rattled it off in like two seconds

 **Harls:** You Smart

 **Pete:** That’s super cool that you know that!

 **Pete:** Harls don’t you have a meeting you’re supposed to be in

 **Harls:** don’t you have work you’re not supposed to be doing

 **Pete:** I

 **Harls:** you better not be at the office

 **Harls:** let Harry and Tony take care of things for a bit

 **Kate:** You’re such an old married couple

 **Tommy:** god it’s like being with Ted and Bill all over again

 **Kate:** Don’t you have a chat with Billy? 

**Tommy:** ye why

 **Kate:** Ask him to do math

 **Kate:** You’ll feel really smart 

**Harls:** wow that’s 

**Harls:** don’t insult him

 **Kate:** I’m not

 **Tommy:** he is really bad at math

 **Pete:** God remember the breakdown over a math project

 **Tommy:** our chat exists solely to send memes

 **Kate:** And talk about _feelings_

 **Tommy:** disgusting no

 **Tommy:** it’s pure meme content

 **Tommy:** @Billy

 **Pete:** Why would you tag him? He’s in school!

 **Harls:** omg you are such a Dad Pete

 **Kate:** lmao he is

 **Tommy:** he’s in math so he won’t answer anyway lmao

 **Cassie:** So… I am suspended

 **Kate:** ghsduhgusd what

 **Tommy:** _what_

 **Pete:** HOW

 **Harls:** omg

 **Kate:** Cassie?!

 **Cassie:** I 

**Cassie:** Might have 

**Cassie:** Maybe

 **Cassie:** Punched someone

 **Tommy:** _why_

 **Cassie:** They were being a jerk

 **Kate:** As long as it was deserved

 **Harls:** what did they say

 **Cassie:** They said my dad deserved to be back in prison

 **Cassie:** And that he was the worst Avenger

 **Cassie:** So I punched them

 **Kate:** I support this course of action

 **Harls:** but

 **Harls:** should you have really punched anyone

 **Pete:** Ice your knuckles so they don’t bruise too bad when you get home

 **Tommy:** good job Cas

 **Billy:** He’s a dick 

**Tommy:** how was math

 **Billy:** Literal torture

 **Cassie:** Dad and I are going out for lunch now so 

**Cassie:** I guess it worked out well

 **Pete:** Can you tell Scott I said hi? 

**Cassie:** Peter or Spidey? 

**Pete:** Which does he know you know? 

**Cassie:** Lol both

 **Pete:** Then whichever!

 **Cassie:** Okay!

 **Teddy:** Cassie is a little bamf

**Cassie: 😊**

**Cassie:** I don’t even feel bad

 **Billy:** You shouldn’t.

 **Billy:** Also Tommy and I _do_ have an entirely meme chat

 **Billy:** To answer why I was tagged earlier

 **Tommy:** ^

**Billy:** [Teddy](https://pin.it/5jiJIdt)

 **Kate:** NOT TO OVERSHADOW YOU BILL

 **Billy:** I

 **Billy:** okay

 **Kate:** BUT CASSIE JUST TOLD ME N E W S

 **Tommy:** _news_

 **Teddy:** Why are we yelling

 **Cassie:** KATE YOU SAID YOU WOULDN’T TELL

 **Kate:** NATE

 **Cassie:** STOP

 **Pete:** what

 **Harls:** some of us have jobs

 **Pete:** Like you’re paying attention

 **Harls:** point

 **Kate:** ASKED

 **Billy:** Cassie out? 

**Kate:** CASSIE

 **Kate:** wait you knew

 **Teddy:** Nate asked us where to bring her on a date in this century

 **Billy:** ^

 **Cassie:** _omg_

 **Tommy:** don’t go out with future boy

 **Harls:** future boy? 

**Pete:** Who even _is_ Nate? 

**Tommy:** future boy

 **Cassie:** [Nate](https://pin.it/6RQ1bPk)

 **Harls:** omg 

**Harls:** he’s cute

 **Teddy:** Nate’s a long story

 **Pete:** Tell me more? 

**Billy:** Harley says you’re not supposed to be talking hero things so

 **Billy:** It’s very long and very complicated 

**Pete:** He said what now

 **Harls:** oop

 **Harls:** Billy come on man

 **Billy:** _I didn’t know it was supposed to be a secret_

 **Pete:** lmao it’s not

 **Kate:** Wait so are you really taking a break from Spidey? 

**Tommy:** why are we ignoring that Cassie is going on a date with future boy

 **Teddy:** Because it is cute and literally no one cares

 **Billy:** ^

 **Billy:** Nate’s nice 

**Tommy:** Nate is not nice

 **Billy:** You just don’t like Nate because he threw out your half eaten bag of fruit snacks

 **Tommy:** _of course i hate him for throwing out my half eaten bag of fruit snacks_

 **Billy:** Smh

 **Billy:** You’re worse than Luke

 **Tommy:** i miss Luke

 **Billy:** You can have him

 **Pete:** Yeah

 **Pete:** Ghost Spider is gonna handle some patrolling for now

 **Harls:** she’s really excited to start

 **Harls:** which is kinda adorable and mildly terrifying

 **Cassie:** Omg I love her suit!

 **Kate:** It does look cool

 **Harls:** thanks

 **Tommy:** they weren’t complimenting you

 **Harls:** i

 **Harls:** i made the suit? 

**Teddy:** Tom has no filter ignore him

 **Tommy:** don’t ignore me

 **Billy:** _I want to go home_

 **Tommy:** so go home

 **Teddy:** It’s the middle of the school day

 **Kate:** Everything good? 

**Billy:** Ye

 **Billy:** I’m just _tired_

**Teddy:** I feel that in my soul

 **Teddy:** It’s almost lunch right? 

**Billy:** almost

 **Cassie:** Can you take notes for me? 

**Billy:** ofc

 **Kate:** So wholesome

 **Kate:** Aren’t you supposed to be in class though? 

**Billy:** Study

 **Teddy:** I’m pretending to do Shakespeare research

 **Teddy:** in the computer lab

 **Pete:** What are you really doing? 

**Teddy:** DND

 **Harls:** nice

 **Cassie:** Who are you playing with? 

**Teddy:** Eli and Bill

 **Billy:** ^

 **Billy:** And my dad

 **Teddy:** Mister Kaplan is weirdly good at it

 **Kate:** I love your dad

 **Kate:** He’s the best history professor I’ve ever had

 **Teddy:** He’s super helpful

 **Billy:** Yeah dad’s pretty cool

 **Harls:** lmao why do you call him Mister Kaplan, Teddy? 

**Teddy:** Because he is also _terrifying_

 **Billy:** He hates that Teddy calls him Mister Kaplan

 **Tommy:** even i call him Jeff

 **Teddy:** l i s t e n 

**Pete:** I get it

 **Pete:** It’s a respect thing

 **Teddy:** ^^^^^^^^

 **Harls:** you called Tony Mister Stark for years just to bother him, Pete

 **Pete:** Well yeah

 **Pete:** Because that was fun

**Billy:** uhm

 **Billy:** Why is Captain America in my kitchen

 **Teddy:** _what_

 **Harls:** why is there a space ship over Long Island? 

**Teddy:** _w h a t_

 **Pete:** Wait Captain Sam is in your kitchen? 

**Billy:** fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

 **Kate:** What’s going on? 

**Teddy:** I NEED HELP 

**Cassie:** WHAT IS HAPPENING 

**Tommy:** you at home

 **Teddy:** SPACE SHIP

**Kate:** @Billy what’s going on? 

**Billy:** they know

 **Kate:** who knows? 

**Billy:** Kate

 **Billy:** _They know_

 **Harls:** what’s going on are you okay

**Kate:** Shit

 **Kate:** Okay

 **Kate:** Tommy - get to Teddy

 **Tommy:** already on it

 **Tommy:** we’re gonna need some back up

 **Cassie:** omw

 **Kate:** Billy? 

**Harls:** who needs me and where

 **Kate:** This is an us problem stay out of it

 **Harls:** guys

 **Billy:** _I sent Captain America through a portal hahfula_

 **Harls:** YOU DID WHAT

 **Kate:** Training room now

 **Billy:** I need to get to Teddy

 **Kate:** No you need to get to Nate

**Pete:** Who the fuck is Kang

 **Pete:** And why did he just declare war on us

  
  
  
  



End file.
